


Everything I Didnt Say

by Fatiha



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Basically Markmin stuff, Canon Compliant, I Love My Boys Hi, Jaemin is the Nana thing, Love Tringle, M/M, Mark is the Dumb thing, NCT Freeform, Taeyong is the sweet thing, first nct fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 20:56:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16166864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fatiha/pseuds/Fatiha
Summary: We all have those words we never say but the one named life makes us say those





	1. First Words

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so my first time with this group. I hope you like the story

**4:46 Pm / 23rd December / 2017**  
  
Jungwoo pulled the glass door of the small lounge beside the vocal training rooms to allow himself to take a short way towards the floor exit. He walked in and after a minute faced the 5 dreamies sitting around the corner tables. He waved a warm smile like always.  
  
" Any new project dongsaengs ?" He asked in a cheerful voice, "I heard something is coming up."  
  
"Well we heard that too, hyung. Maybe Producer-nim asked us to come here together to make it official." Renjun replied, waving the older some smiles back.  
  
"Hyung will be waiting for it. Good luck."  
  
Jungwoo waved another smile before leaving the lounge. After his departure Jaemin went back to his casual position again, leaning back and resting he head.  
  
It was a cold december afternoon when they actually were meant to be spending some casual times by themselves. It was a Saturday after all. By the morning they never imagined they will be having a meeting with their producers, except for Mark and Donghyuck, because they already had schedules with the 127 members. Jaemin can still recall Jeno was planning to have some movie, just when they got the call to come to the company building.  
  
He lifted his head a little to check the time on his phone which also reminded him Mark didnt send his confirmation on coming yet. Well it may sound a little formal, but it was something Mark and his other members always did because Jaemin always had this insecurities. Jaemin checked his notifications again, and was interrupted by Donghyuck's voice. He was just entering, and he was alone.  
  
"Where is hyung ?"  Jeno asked, as he was the one who noticed his presence first.  
  
"He left before me, he didnt come yet ?" Donghyuck gave a look, proving he wasnt joking.  
  
"He didnt send me a confirmation on coming either." Jaemin added, trying to ignore the bit of worries inside him. And as he voiced out, their producer came, making them all stand up and bow.  
  
"All well everyone is here." He said, making the dreamies question his statement as Mark was absent. They were a little blank of that absence, instead of Jaemin, because at the moment Jaemin was feeling a certain kind of fear inside him.  
  
"Hyung-nim, we should start the meeting after Mark hyu-"  
  
"I was told that Mark wont be a part of NCT Dream this time, as he will be receiving his graduation, just before this unit prepares for this comeback."  
  
The words were simple and sound, But it was enough to make the room complete silent. Jaemin thought he would react inside him a little more, but as he was prepared, feeling that certain fear which just came out as a true thing, he was the one to speak up first.  
  
"Is he officially....out of NCT Dream now ?" Jaemin asked  
  
"Still not officially. But as I can guess he wont be a part of your upcoming comeback preparations. Chances are 90 percent." The producer replied, "Now can we please sit and have a look to the preparations please ?"  
  
  
**6:10 Pm / 23rd December / 2017**  
  
Little bits of snow were seen outside, but it was a comfortable warmth inside the car as always. The six of them were going to their appointed spot where their shooting will be held later on, just to check. They were still slient of the sudden shock of Mark leaving their side, although they were idols who can do everything ignoring everything, They were headed to their assignment.  
  
"I swear to my stuffed animals, I will have a good little thing with hyung when we get back for not telling us before." Someone said. Jaemin was too lost inside of himself to notice who it was, but he was wrong because they all knew it was coming someday. And of course, as the great hyung Mark was, he didnt have the courage to tell them he was leaving them there. Not like they wont meet up ever again, but all of them knew the thing they had inside wont come again  
  
Jaemin leaned against the leather seat at the back of the car and rested his head by the window glass. He always thought they couldnt be more perfect without the seven of them, which was coming to an end. More specifically, Mark was leaving them.

When Jaemin was small, so small that he couldnt fight back for the bad things of the world, he used to get bullied for every single day.As he was weak and terrified, whenever he was hurt he used to go to his grandma for comfort. Once his grandma said, no matter what happens, we should keep our real selves inside of us and should not show the world how we feel. It makes us more strong outside. Jaemin loved to believe that thought, because of that later in his life he grew into someone who didnt explained their true self. Outside he was bright and happy, and even if inside he was breaking down that didnt effect it. And maybe because of this life time practice, when he fell in love with this hyung named Mark, he prefectly kept it hidden inside him.  
  
He still remember the day they first met, it was just as cold as the present time. Trying catch up with his trainee life Jaemin used to spend the time he got alone in the dorm terrace, and one day when he went there he got bumped onto the certain figure. Mark used the place as his secret corner too, and from that day it became the secret place for both of them. There were unaccountable nights when they talked for the whole night, sometimes on stupid stuff sometimes tearing up into each others' arms. Most of the times it was Jaemin who even pretended to be sad, just because he wanted Mark to embrace his smaller figure.There were nights when Jaemin asked him to stay in the dream dorm. When he could go to Mark at midnight asking to sleep with him and immediately getting inside his comforter, hiding his face by the the crook of the older's neck and sleep.  
  
Jaemin's head bumped onto the sudden end of the ride. Maybe he had something with Mark later on as well.  
  
  
**10 : 23 Pm / December 23rd / 2017**  
  
By the time the dreamies got back to there dorm, they expected Mark to be there as he should've come by then, but the dorm was dark and silent. Most of them were tired from ride so they decided to give it a little rest and have some rest for themselves as Jaemin left the dorm from behind them and walked towards the elevator.  
  
And as he expected Mark was there, sitting by the Terrace lounge from where they always admired the view of the night in Seoul. Jaemin silently made his way towards him, sat beside him without making a sound.  
  
"I heard you coming though...." Mark said without looking at him in a slighly unfamiliar cold voice, "I was getting prepared for a nice scold. Im sorry I didnt tell you guys." He looked beside him then, "But its not an actual goodbye right ?"  
  
"It is an actual goodbye hyung." Jaemin felt himself moving a bit closer.  
  
"I promise I will come here to spend nights with you Nana." Mark gave him an arm to embrace his figure, Jaemin willingly got more close, resting his head on his hyung's shoulder, "And will stay at your room, wont you allow me ?"  
  
Jaemin nodded. Ignoring his internal feelings as always, erasing it off with a smile, "Hyung lets go down. I need some rest." He stood up gently pulling back and decided to lead the way down. Mark followed him silently, minutes later he found himself in his room.  
  
"Are you staying here ?" Mark asked as Jaemin stepped a step back. He looked upon the older and smiled, adding a nod. But Mark didnt smile back at him, instead he walked inside the darkness of the room.  
  
Jaemin follwed him this time, breathing in the familiar smell of Mark and his surroundings. Jaemin thought he should be the one to get more upset on the fact that Mark's journey here was going to end, he was upset, so upset that he made a certain decision tonight, but still Mark felt a little more down. He didnt questioned him. He took of his shoes and got inside of Mark's comforter as the older lifted it up for him.  
  
"Hyung ?" Jaemin called for him in a soft voice as he placed himself inside Mark's arms, he felt the embracing was a little tight tonight. As if this was the last thing Mark would ever do.  
  
"Yes ?" Mark's voice was still cold.  
  
"Are you upset ? Because of all this ?"  
  
Mark didnt reply as expected. Jaemin felt a sudden warmth inside him.

"Because I may upset you now." Jaemin sighed a little, as he placed a gentle kiss by the other's neck. He didnt feel Mark shifting, instead the latter seemed to be calmed.  
  
"By saying...I like you, hyung." He breathed in his scent, placing another kiss, "I needed you to know this before we end here. I like you so much. I always did." he felt a warm tear by the corner of his eyes.  
  
Mark was silent, holding Jaemin a little too close.


	2. Our Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the second part of it. Thanks for checking it out.

**1:13 Pm / December 23rd / 2017**  
  
The 127 practice hall was a place which was never quite. Sometimes it was filled with the synchronized dance steps of all the nine members, Sometime's it was filled with Taeil's apologizing sounds when he took a lot of time from Sicheng's schedule to clear a routine. It was alive always, and it was Mark's favorite place in this new life of his. From the very beginning he felt comfortable here, and from the very beginning whenever he felt something inside him which he wanted to ignore, he found himself here, working up on himself alone. It was one of Mark's many secrets to keep the negatives inside him. He was the great Mark Lee after all. Working with every unit, never letting anything go without its being perfect. And he would admit in seconds, among all, handling the dreamies was the only thing he could do without getting a little tired.  
  
Mark can always remember his trainee days and after debut days with the dream members, it was something he treasures inside. The dream dorm always welcomed him as a perfect leader, a perfect hyung to lean on. He adored Jisung and Chenle's loud noises, Jeno and Rejun's look on them, He admired Donghyuck being the friend whenever he needed one . And he lived for .... Jaemin.  
  
As each of his youngers were too adorable , Jaemin was not too exceptional among them. But even if he adored all of them, even if he would name Donghyuck his best friend, even if he most of the time it wasnt Jaemin he was seen with, Jaemin held a special place for him from the very first second they met. He was perfect in every angle, and more than that he was a beautiful person inside. He was caring for all, but Mark was always proud that Jaemin cared for him the most. It wasnt anyone but Jaemin he sobbed onto when he got home sick or too frustrated, it wasnt anyone but him when Jaemin felt the same. He was Mark's very own, and that is what made him realise he was living for him, making him fall in love with Jaemin deeper every second.  
  
Mark always thought it was something to be scared of. As they both were idols and Jaemin probably never saw him in that way, but the happiness of loving him took over always. Even when Xuxi or Yuta hyung noticed he was too dumb to even hide his faint blushes whenver Jaemin was around him, he just admitted that he really was too dumb for Jaemin. The only thing that worried him that he thought his feelings might end their closeness, so he made sure no one tells Jaemin and he tried to act more and more normal.  
  
"Mark !" Doyoung's sudden voice towards him directly brought him back to the tiled floor of the practice room, he  gazed up to his hyung. Doyoung pointed him to come over, and as he did he pointed towards the exit.  
  
"Manager hyung called for you." He spoke up  
  
"But hyung we are about to-"  
  
"The break will take another 5 minutes as Taeil hyung is still learning from Sir Taeyong and Sir Sicheng. You can go and come back real quick." Jaehyun declared beside him and smiled. Mark looked at the direction of the mentioned three as he locked eyes with Taeyong. But for like the 17th time by the whole morning Taeyong avoided his gaze. Mark couldn't remember any reason for Taeyong to avoid his gaze, he decided to let it go with a Maybe he is just a little busy thought. Mark smiled back at Jaehyun and nodded before leaving. Soon he found himself inside the office section where their manager was waiting for him. He got himself seated and leaned comfortably.  
  
"Mark ssi, I hope you have some time because we will be having an official conversation." The manager leaned back on his chair, "Its important so I want you to listen to me carefully."  
  
"Im listening, Hyung."  
  
"How many months are there before your graduation final ?"  
  
Mark didnt expected to be questioned by this question. He sat straight and took some seconds before answering.  
  
"About 7 months, Hyung."  
  
"NCT Dream will have their own comeback in September after the promoting of NCT comeback." The manager declared, earning a little questioning look from the one infront of him.

"And in the comeback of September, you wont be in the lineup of the unit. Your promoting with NCT Dream will end with the ending of the promoting of GO." He answered. And Mark felt a sudden feeling took over inside him.  
  
As the oldest among the Dreamies he knew his turn of leaving the unit will come up first. He thought he was prepared to take that but as he heard the official declaration, he started to believe he was weak. He wanted to leave the room in the very second and get himself cornered, but instead he tried his best to look calm. The making of their upcoming MV was already done, he was upset inside before hearing all these just because he knew he will be spending most of his upcoming year with the other members but the youngers because the shooting for 127 and U was yet to come. Mark felt his thoughts going blurred, he made himself nodding stand up and bow.  
  
"Thank you for letting me know, hyung. I respect each of the decisions."  
  
"Thank you." Hearing the reply Mark left the office section and walked towards the practice hall. His thoughts were still blurred on the sudden fact, but the thought started to clear itself up was of Him and Jaemin. He didnt want to think how would he manage to sleep without their late night conversations and cuddles, he didnt want to think how would he face him without being a member of his unit when he was the reason Jaemin was going though the roughness of idol life just beacause he knew Mark was always there to hold him. Mark felt the corner of his eyes warmed, he thought once before entering the hall if he could go on without breaking up.  
  
He expected the best on himself, and as he entered the always alive room he felt it was a little weak. He looked up and the sight was of the empty hall with Taeyong standing by the entrance.  
  
"Where is everyone, hyung ?" He asked in a low voice.  
  
"I told everyone we will finish the rest in the evening...." Taeyong replied back in a lower voice, "Because I need some time with you....."  
  
Mark thought he already understood why Taeyong was trying to avoid his gaze in the morning because he probably knew it. He tried open up his mouth on he didnt need to apologize for it but he was interrupted.  
  
"Can we please sit somewhere ?"  
  
**3:27 Pm / 23rd December/ 2017**  
  
Taeyong brought Mark into 127 dorm, in his room after their talk and a long walk back to the dorm building. Its been an hour since Mark heard the declaration of his leave but he felt it was just before some seconds. He couldnt get rid of the pain which was growing inside him, the thought on what Taeyong needed to discuss with him was questioning inside as well. The question was what was so important that Taeyong needed to cancel the practice.  
  
The usual lively dorm was empty as probably everyone was using the time they got after the practice cancelling. It reminded him of the times when they were trainees and most of them used to spend their free times on gaming or something like that, and he and Jaemin used to cuddle on the living couch talking about everything.  
  
Taeyong interrupted his thoughts as he clicked the lock of his own room. He entered before Mark and pointed him to take a seat on the couch by his bed. Mark gave him a small nod and sat on the couch hugging his legs as Taeyong disappeared by the closets. He returned with some scrap book like things on his hand and sat beside.  
  
"First of all you can probably guess that I knew about....about you leaving the dream unit. I apologize I didnt share it with you....."  
  
"Its okay with me hy-"  
  
"And I should not keep anything else inside me I guess. Not anymore when there are things which are more important to me. Not after....after I.... have came to know that you have feelings for Jaemin." Taeyong looked beside him.  
  
Mark faced their members knowing about his feelings for Jaemin before, he wanted to assure Taeyong that he didnt mind if he had known that and that he should please keep this as a secret but as he opened up his mouth to speak, he saw tears by Taeyong's eyes. 

He felt he was terribly shocked inside as he never saw their fierce leader crying in front of any member. Is knowing about Mark's feelings made him that guilty?  
  
"I didnt want to...." Taeyong managed to wipe the tears and smile a little, "Yuta wanted make fun of you as yesterday he got your phone you forgot in the living...." he continued, "He...scrolled through your youtube history and....and it was filled with Jaemin's videos and he told me that...you had this stuff for him." He smiled a little again, "You always looked like one dumb crushed thing around him though."  
  
Mark gulped once and the next second he wrapped an arm around Taeyong's figure, "Hyung its alright it happens. Why are you taking this all this seriously ? I admit I have feelings for him for a long time. I admit I never told you about this but you know if I take a step ahead I would first share it with you..." Mark nodded a little, leaning against his hyung. "Dont be so-"  
  
He stopped, as that was the moment when Taeyong handed him the scrap books he brought. The members knew Taeyong had this habits of keeping scrap books or writing diaries, but its something they never saw. Mark took the books and had a look on the front page. The page said - Unspoken.  
  
Mark concentrated as he made his way through it, he turned the pages and as he gone by the pages he felt a little more surprised each time. The book had almost all of his trainee days, more specifically his trainee days with Taeyong, their photos their inside jokes notes of their conversations everything. Mark felt a warm smile spread across his lips as he finished it. He looked up the other who was silent.  
  
"That was cute, hyung. Thank you. You have made this scrap books for us all ?"  
  
"No." He replied as he put up the second book. It was just like the first one, filled with Mark and Mark's memories. But it had a long hand written note at the last of it, which was enough to make Mark feel his world was completely blank.  
  
It was a hand written confession Taeyong wrote. And it was for Mark. The note included their memories and how Taeyong loved each and every bit of him, how Taeyong fell in love with him, how Taeyong spend his days waiting for the day when he would show Mark this note. Mark took the last book with shaking hands unknowingly, which described it all more. He took deep breaths as he ended up, it was the time for him when he noticed Taeyong was visibly crying beside him. He forgot how to talk.  
  
"Im sorry Mark ah. Im so damn sorry that I felt exactly the same for you when you loved Jaemin. When you never saw me in the place which I wanted so much that..." He sniffed a little, "Im sorry...."  
  
Mark couldn't help himself to even do a single gesture. His mind was storming on the past thoughts he faced, he silently let the storm grow.  
  
"I have a reason why I showed you this..." He heard Taeyong, "I promised myself I will only stop loving you inside me after I show you this. I know the reality isnt in my favour, so before I try to end my feelings for you I wanted to show you this." he held Mark's hands, "I..I really love you..." he looked so broken that Mark almost felt his world ended, "And I promise its ending here." He nodded, and a second after he leaned in, placing a small kiss on his lips. Mark closed his eyes as his mind got blank, he didnt know what to feel. And as Taeyong pulled back, Mark started feeling.  
  
The feeling came with a certain giggle playing in his mind. The giggle was the most familiar tune he ever heard, it was Jaemin giggling when Mark gave him small kisses on his head when they cuddled. Mark closed his eyes to gather his thoughts, of what happened, but even if he felt terrible for Taeyong, Mark felt that it didnt effected a little on his feelings for Jaemin. He felt guilty sitting beside a crying Taeyong, but at the same time he felt his love for Jaemin got more strong. He felt that one real kiss from someone who loved him didnt broke a single pile of his love for someone who doesnt even know he loves him. 

He felt his heart only asking him how it would feel if it was Jaemin placing his lips on his. Mark opened his eyes and shook his head a little, and surprisingly enough he saw Taeyong was smiling at him, he felt it was the first time when Taeyong was actually smiling.  
  
"I knew. I knew even if I confess or anything else happens, you are still gonna love Jaemin. I know my love for you was something deep, but your love is deeper. I can feel it. And if Im not wrong then Jaemin feels just as same for you...." Mark looked at him, "He deserves no one else. So as the punishment for getting me broken here." Taeyong smiled full on, "I want you to confess your feelings to him before its too late. And here I can manage a crush on Taeil hyung or Yut-"  
  
Mark stopped him as the latter hugged him tight. Taeyong smiled warmly as he ruffled his hair, he felt the other sobbing.  
  
"I cant word up anything right now hyung....Just Thank you. Thank you so much." He arms held him a little tighter, "Thank you hyung."  
  
Taeyong escaped a sigh and nodded, he made sure Mark was on his way to the dream dorm later. He felt genuinely happy for them inside him, he was sure of it.  
  
**10 : 56 Pm / 23rd December/ 2017**  
  
Mark made his way towards his room as he finished up his conversation with Jaemin at the terrace. He promised Taeyong he would tell him everything this time, but he felt he was not synchronized on his plan. Till now he didnt tell Jaemin anything, Jaemin was probably thinking that he was quite because he was upset that he was going to leave them, when he was just trying gather his words. Like when you love someone so much, how could your describe it ? Mark knew if he blurted out a single I like You wont be enough for him. He made his way towards his room silently as he felt Jaemin breathing close to him.  
  
They ended up in his bed in the same familiar position they used to have for the last few years. Jaemin clinging onto him by his side, his head safely hidden by the crook of his neck. Mark gathered his words for the final time, feeling his heart explode out of the love he felt for the other, as Jaemin asked if he was upset. He didnt get why he asked that, he kept his silence.  
  
Because I may upset you now." he felt Jaemin sighed a little, and he placed a gentle kiss by the his neck. His heart skipped a bit as he was completely still in his position.  
  
"By saying...I like you, hyung." He said, placing another kiss, "I needed you to know this before we end here. I like you so much. I always did." Mark saw a tear drop by the corner of the younger's eyes.  
  
Mark held him tight against him, he saw the results of his rehearsals during all this time drowned. He gently pulled back the hold, earning a little shifted gaze from the younger.  
  
"Jaemin... I..." Mark hold his breath, "Taeyong hyung likes me." He spoke in a low voice. Even though Taeyong told him not to share this with Jaemin, he thought if he start anything with Jaemin, he would start with this truth. It was important for him to make Jaemin understand what he meant to him. And Jaemin was looking down now.  
  
"Oh I...Im sorry. I think I shouldn't tell you this." Jaemin's lips closed gently, and Mark wanted to kiss those more than ever now. He felt Jaemin was being broken inside slowly, he knew he would, so he opened his mouth.  
  
"He confessed to me because he had came to know that I love someone else." He added, "That I cant be his because.... my love for the one I love is deeper than his love for me."  
  
Jaemin was still looking down, making fists and letting go, something he did when he was upset, Mark again wanted to stop and just kiss him, just tell him he was the one for him, but he needed to tell him everything.  
  
"You see Jaemin when I loved this person even before I knew there was something called love. I loved the one who was not the most perfect one in the world, he was the most perfect one in my world. My love for them was so incredibly deep that I could just forget everything in the world just by a thought of them. Today...." He looked down as well, "Today me and Taeyong hyung had a kiss..." 

He sighed and looked upon him again, Jaemin was listening, still with the broken look on his face.  
  
"And even after that, my love for that someone didnt lose a little. It grew stronger. I realised that if there is something called true love, I found mine....." He smiled softly, as he saw Jaemin was tearing up. He gestured towards him, wrapping his arms around him and placing his lips on Jaemin's ones. He immediately got the response as Jaemin kissed him back, barely making any sound of his tears coming down by his cheeks. Mark took the kiss a little longer, he wanted it more than anything in his life when the other felt just the same. He felt Jaemin was smiling between, he smiled back and looked at his eyes.  
  
"I love you so much." He whispered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost done and please dont kill me I love Taeyong too much and I just wanted him to be the sweetest one here. The last chapter will be a prologue thing, I hope you will make sure to check it out.


	3. Last Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little ending

**2:40 PM / September 7th / 2018**  
  
The cheering from the crowd in front of the stage area and around was a little lesser than expected, only because it was too early before the show to take the stage there. Mark looked again at the direction of the back stage while waiting for the members, he was too early even though he had to come from the practice with the U members, as the 'Too busy Mark Lee' he was. He took out his phone for the 67th time to find something to do on the internet, leaning back by one of the staff vans alone. Minutes after he found himself again looking at random directions and sighing on his own.  
  
He could say the day was special for him, as it was his last stage with the Dream Unit, even though he got mentally prepared for this 9 months ago. 9 months ago he was told that he won't come this far with the youngers, but for a certain reason specifically for certain someone  it got extended as much as it could extended. Mark sighed a little more at the thought, even though he was given extension, even though he was prepared, even though he knew he wasnt going anywhere leaving them- the slight pain of the memories is still somewhere inside him. He personally was a little bit closed, not too loud like Haechan or Yuta or not too listening like Doyoung or Johnny, but it never effected on his friendships with the 17 other boys. And Mark always felt it was dreamies who made him feel comfortable the most, even though Xuxi always complained he should get Mark's attention the most. Mark smiled a little this time. After some seconds a olive green car moving towards him caught his attention. The car belonged to someone who wasnt meant to be here, it was meant to be in the other part of the city where the U members were having a lunch after the practice by getting a treat from Sicheng, Mark straightened and waited.  
  
The car stopped by him smoothly, showing a little bit of Taeyong's smile from the inside. Mark smiled back softly, walking forward as Taeyong dropped himself there. He was looking pale and tired just like Mark, but somehow he managed to cover it pretty well. He face hold a look of arranging words inside him and Mark was very familiar with that.  
  
"Are you here so you can extend my stay with dream again, hyung ?"  
  
"Well I tried, but sometimes the staffs aren't impressed with my puppy eyes."  
  
Mark laughed a little, for the first time in the very day. He leaned back by the van again with his cheeky smile still present there, noticing Taeyong still with the look of arranging words.  
  
"Hyung, you can tell me." He asked in a low voice.  
  
Taeyong looked upon him the next second, and for another time Mark had the bold thought of he could he ever return Taeyong what the leader did for him. He recalled the phrases of his life again when He was the one who had reject Taeyong because of his own feelings and what Taeyong did was speaking up in the management meeting that Mark should be in the comeback held in September as the dream unit needed time to learn going without Mark to get their backs. Taeyong even talked with the CEO for this silly agreement held by him as he left this after he got the permission for Mark to get an extension, when all Mark did was to stand like the dumbest person in world while Taeyong hugged him with his happy tears and smiles screaming. Taeyong only did it because he didnt want Mark to leave Jaemin just when Mark got the boy for his own, because he wanted Jaemin and Mark to give some time together. And here he was, giving all of him to Jaemin.  
  
It was very awkward at the beginning. Not because they were idols and they didnt get time and they felt awkward to have this secret change in their friendship, that never mattered, but because Mark felt it too hard from keeping himself away from Jaemin, he felt it too hard to even spend a second without Jaemin looking at him with the gaze only fixed for him. Jaemin was one step ahead, once he almost kissed Mark infront of Jisung but was saved by the older. Jaemin said that he cant help it because he spend years waiting for this, And Mark couldn't help him stopping him. It just kept growing, having the terrace conversations a little too long, having the lone practices together a little too long, having the staying at the dorm when the others were out a little too more. They ended up under Mark's blanket a little too often but the surprising fact was they werent asked for all this, maybe they were forever like this. Jaemin told him if he would just straight go and kiss Mark infront of everyone they wont even blink so he should start doing that, Mark smiled it off with a slight punch. Mark never knew he could blush for someone but Jaemin made that possible in every other way, from stealing quick kisses on his neck from just looking at him, He made Mark all red and pink and orange and every other colour. Mark loved this, he sometimes felt it would stay like this forever, but that didnt keep him safe from falling for Jaemin every second.  
  
"I came here to ensure you are okay. Just that nothing else."  
  
Taeyong's low voice in reply got him back into the reality where he was finally in a the time where he had to leave Jaemin with the dreamies for real. They had endless talk about this coming after the day Jaemin fixed himself from crying too much as Mark was staying for some another long months, but he knew it always made Jaemin feel scared even though the boy smiled it off pretty well.  
  
"Im alright, Hyung. I just get this upsetting feelings for Jaemin."  
  
"And that is upsetting you more than you would  upset yourself." Taeyong replied, leaning by the van beside him, "Minhyung....we will get this right ?"  
  
Mark looked beside him and nodded. Using his korean name and the phrase after that was something that was their own. Taeyong used this whenever he needed Mark to be okay for the sake of everything. It always gave Mark the  strength he needed even if it was just a little, it never failed. Mark smiled at the older before embracing him in a hug, nodding again.  
  
**11:51 PM / September 7th / 2018**  
  
He didnt know what he could name it other then a very blessing that all of them admired, like all the other performances of their group and units, his last stage with the dreamies wenr beyond amazing. For Mark it was always a blurred vision around when he was performing because he loved to forget everything else then, but this time for the first time he kept his eyes open to admire his presence with his youngers ones for the final time. It lasted only for some minutes as expected, but too him it was way way more than that. He was smiling a little too more he guessed, maybe just to ensure himself, to ensure his memebers, to ensure the fans. And as soon it was over, he found himself in the back stage passage by a sweaty Ren Jun clinging onto him.  
  
"Get off me you dork ! We practiced for like 9 months !" He yelled as Ren Jun's grip on his figure got tighter, Jeno's arms found him once he reached the green room finally.  
  
"I said we practiced this for 9 months !"   
  
The crowd outside was still not faded, the cheerings and screams were very much alive to make him yell without any reason but Mark yelled just to ensure himself and the members again.  
  
"Hyung cant it be a little more ? I mean till our next comeback?"  
  
"Maybe a month ?" Jeno added after Ren Jun , "Some weeks ?"  
  
"Im okay with a single day even...." Ren Jun's voice started cracking, something very familiar to Mark as it was when Ren Jun was too upset to handle, "Why now ? They can get all of you for years...."  
  
"Injun...." Mark finally managed to stand without four arms embracing him, "Am I going anywhere ? Its just the unit leaving. We are in the same group right ? And I promise I will come too often that you will get annoyed by this dumb hyung." Mark chuckled forcefully, his chuckle went away as Chenle came into the view followed by Jisung, and the next moment the boy crashed onto Mark.  
  
"Lele you are too heavy what the heaven..." Mark wrapped his arms around the younger protesting, as he heard little sobbing noise. The place was not quite enough to hear it, but Chenle was shivering.  
  
"We got this its okay...." Mark couldn't find anything to make him feel alright. Jisung was standing quietly there, Mark smiled at him.  
  
"See your would be boyfriend will kill me in some minutes for making you cry just look at his face !" Mark visibly smiled, earning a little hurting punch from Chenle, as the younger smiled a little.  
  
"You better come to the dorm often to advice me. He doesnt like me much." Chenle wiped his face and hold a soft look, "I will miss you."  
  
Mark ruffled his hair as Jisung awkwardly gave him a hug. Mark hummed softly at the touch before speaking up again, "Where is Jaemin and Hyuck ?"  
  
Chenle answered him, and waving a quick Im coming Mark left the green room wiping his face with some tissues and tossing his jacket. He walked by the staff rooms to reach the place and stood infront of the entrance of the back passage. It was dark and deserted like always and there wasnt a sign of the one he was looking for, but luck favoured him with Donghyuck.  
  
"Hyuck where is Jaemin ?" He asked catching up his breath   
  
"Walk for two minutes at the right. He seems too upset." The younger replied, "Talk to him. Make sure you arent late Im handling the others till then." He patted Mark's arm, leaving the boy alone.  
  
Mark made his way towards the right side immediately. His eyes found Jaemin in the slight light within a minute as he stood in front of the younger, humming a small hey, intertwining their fingers. Mark pictured an upset red eyed Jaemin even though he knew it was Jaemin who was the most prepared one for this, but when Jaemin looked upon him, he never felt the thought so right.  
  
Jaemin was smiling softly at him. No sign of tears or red eyes, no biting lips like he did when he felt down. He squeezed Mark's hand once, before standing on his full height.  
  
"To have this time with you, hyung. Lele wont let me have you."  
  
"Damn why you are like this....?" Mark tried to finish before a very familiar pair of lips collapsed onto his. Mark responded back to it the next second, closing the little space between them as his hands found Jaemin's back. Mark could not count how many times this space was closed, but each time it felt different, like always like the first time. He felt Jaemin pulling him closer, kissed him gently like always, as if the world will be ending after it all.  
  
" Mark ?" Jaemin called out for him without the hyung as they were resting their foreheads on each others. Mark hummed, not wanting to break the moment. He knew even though both of them pretended it was nothing, even though they both knew as long as they felt for the other they will stay exactly fine, he knew this moments together will be something to miss. He rested his head by Jaemin's neck, wrapping his arms around his slim figure.  
  
"I will miss you." Jaemin whispered, "Please dont let Xuxi hyung or Hyuck get on you."  
  
"I wont."  
  
"Also, if you do not kiss me at least once everyday...."  
  
"Then you will not kiss me thousand times everyday I know." Mark finished the line, feeling smiles escaping from his lips.  
  
"I love you so much."  
  
  
  
  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for stopping by

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos will be too appreciated and please share your thoughts with me


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